Well I guess Mets fans know what they know.
It's remarkable how many people have either called into WFAN or blogged the following question:
"What are we going to do when Ike Davis and David Wright return? Who's going to play 2nd and who's going to sit?"
Being a Mets fan is like playing the role of a domestically battered woman in a lifetime movie (and PS, call me gay all you want, the lifetime movie network is ridiculous addicting.) To properly play this role, you need to be in fear all the time, over everything. This includes the times when the abusive piece of shit husband or boyfriend is around, and other times when there's no real danger, like when a door slams.
In this analogy, worrying about what to do with 3 batters that are hitting around .300 isn't the husband coming home drunk, it's the f*cking door slamming because of the wind.
You can't blame Mets fans for being in a constant state of panic. You can't give me an in-game scenario that I would feel 100 percent comfortable that the Mets will actually win the game. Inconsistent defense, bullpen, inconsistent starting pitching, and in the case of tonight, Lucas Duda treating the rules of what you can and cannot do once a pop fly is caught like the fundamental concepts of nuclear physics are just some of the many ways that the Mets can screw up a game. So naturally they are going to be skeptical of any situation with this ball club, whether good or bad.
Seriously, Mets fans are like this puppy. That is, if this puppy just lost a Michael Vick dogfight and was about to be boiled in that bowl over there.
What's truly pathetic is the fact that everyone is getting very optimistic about a team that's 2 games under .500. What's even more sad is the fact that I think this is the most excited I've been about the team since 2009. And it's this onslaught of good news that makes everyone panic about what to do when Wright and Davis come back. Well let me clarify a few things.
1) We have NO POWER IN THE LINE-UP.
Am I the only one actually watching this team? Jesus Christ our clean up hitter tonight was Angel Pagan. Last night? Daniel f*cking Murphy, who in my beloved year of 2009 led the team in home runs with 12. TWELVE. That's not a clean up hitter, that's a confused 8 year old playing with mommy's makeup. If this team is actually going to contend, they need these guys back. Especially when you consider that Beltran will leave in a couple months, and Jason Bay is looking more like a pacified Pedro Cerrano than a power hitter. Jesus I think that a manny (that's a man-nanny) currently has more confidence and testosterone than Bay right now.
2) These are the NEW YORK METS
Does anyone actually know when they're coming back? Do you? Can you tell me the next lottery numbers? In 2 weeks David Wright has a back APPOINTMENT. Excited? And in another 2 weeks Ike Davis will have his boot off. Who knows what the hell happens after that. Another 3 weeks in the boot? If not, can he run? Is he in shape? How long until he gets his swing back?
The reality is that who knows when they're coming back, or what they're going to look like when they do. They might need more days off than usual as they adjust. We don't know if this phenomenal version of Ruben Tejada is the real deal, what Justin Turner really is, and if Daniel Murphy will ever look comfortable defensively. Honestly watching him play defense is a lot like watching someone devoutly religious have sex. You know, the ones that only have sex to have kids, and put the hole in the sheet? You figure it basically gets the job done, but it's so uncomfortable to watch.
So calm down people. Let's let them get back to playing before we start freaking out over what to do with a line-up that has let us be 32-34.
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