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Thursday, June 9, 2011

I'm an idiot






There are many, many ways to determine that I'm an idiot.  To list them all would probably crash this website.  So for the sake of blogs everywhere, let me isolate it to two specific ways.

#1 - Apparent Memory Loss


How do you forget something like this?  If you get burned once, don't put your hand back on the stove.  If you hit ridiculous traffic, don't go that way again.  Last night I was the moron driving in traffic with one hand because the other one had blistering third degree burns all over it.

#2 - Extreme naivety


It was like thinking:


  • "Hey, this stripper really likes me for me!"
  • "Congressman Weiner is probably telling the truth now"
  • "All I need to do is send my social security number out and I'll win a free trip to St. Lucia!"
  • "This blog is really going to take off one day!"


Seriously, I was Charlie Brown last night.












I might as well have said good grief after the game last night.  It all begs the question...


How the shit did I forget that I was watching the New York Mets???


I swear to God I turned on the game last night, saw the Mets go up 6-2 and thought that we had the game in the bag.  I was thinking about how they were going to be just one game under .500, within 4 games of the wildcard.  I was giddy thinking about how Niese had pitched well his past few outings, and as a lefty he would probably shut down Prince Fielder.  I was actually looking forward to a sweep.  How did I forget that this is what my unborn children will look forward to???

















If we were as creative with our energy crisis as the mets are creative with finding ways to lose, my car would be running off of my piss by now.  I've experienced Glavine imploding when it meant the most, Castillo's dropped pop up, or just watching the mets take shitty at-bats and looking like a team who just learned that there's no Santa Claus.  I experience daily dipshit Yankee and Philly fans who don't know baseball even a little bit but give me a hard time because I'm a met fan because of these losses (I actually find that I have great baseball conversations with Yankee and Philly fans who actually know what they're talking about.)

How did I not know they would lose???


It's simple.  I'm an idiot.  And it's this idiocy combined with a stubborn streak that keeps me a faithful mets fan, ready to turn on the game and hope that Niese pitches a gem.

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