I would like to warn you that the photo I'm about to show you is likely to disturb you. It definitely goes under "things you can't unsee."
In case the folks at blogger used some common sense and censored this picture, it's a picture of Dan Uggla.
I hate Dan Uggla. I f*cking hate Dan Uggla. I really, REALLY, f*cking hate Dan Uggla.
I mean just look at him. Seriously look at this picture.
Doesn't that just ruin your day? Here, let's' mix it up. Watch this video:
Adorable right? Feeling good? Feeling like you want to call Mom and Dad and tell them you love them? Well then look at this:
BAM. YOU ARE NOW PISSED OFF AT THE WORLD AND READY TO GO FIND THE CIVIC THAT CUT YOU OFF THIS MORNING AND CUT A BITCH'S TIRES.
He just has that effect on you when you look at him. The 1 million strike outs, the just awful defensive plays, it's like if David Wright and Daniel Murphy took the Jekyll and Hyde drug, had their shittiest traits merge into one, Dan Uggla would arise. Also give this hybrid of disaster some Pug DNA. Jesus Christ I hate Dan Uggla.
And normally I'd be thrilled to watch him tank. After all, playing most of his career with Florida the Mets faced him a lot. But it seems that despite being what I can only assume is a raging moron and tragically inconsistent in the field, he would always find a way to make the Mets pay.
And then there was the time where his awful play hurt the entire National League in 2008:
(you can start at 1:08 if you're pressed for time)
So when Uggla went to Atlanta, it was appropriate. Of course I hate the Braves. Years of abuse in the 90s, so sick and tired of getting owned by Greg Maddux who looks like he should be filing my taxes instead of kicking the shit out of my favorite baseball team. Every time the Mets would lose to the Braves I just wanted to burn an effigy of Robert E. Lee to feel like even though the Braves had won that battle, I still already won the war. So naturally, it was perfectly fitting that Uggla would play in Atlanta.
And as I've watched Murphy, Tejada, and Turner all blossom and flourish in the infield, I was thrilled that Uggla was batting under .200. First off, as I may have mentioned, I hate Uggla. But to know that his inadequate performance was hurting the Atlanta Braves? Poetry in motion.
And of COURSE he hits a home run last night.
All the crap Atlanta has done to the Mets this year alone is absurd. Scheduling the double header after the Mets had just played one, the unquestionably wet field yesterday for Reyes who was leading off, and 20 minutes ago Hudson just threw a ball at Reyes' kneecaps (if you weren't watching, don't worry, he got out of the way. He's like a ninja.) And the Mets, for the first time in a long time, have been taking care of business by winning 4 out of 7 games against Atlanta and are currently up 3-0 with Dillion Gee doing his best Cy Young impersonation.
I just wish Uggla hadn't hit a home run against them last night. Oh well, at least I can smile at the fact that Jason Bay is batting 40 points higher than him.
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