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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

2011 MLB Draft





You have to love the New York Mets.  They find a way of taking potential moment of optimism and taking a giant leak on it.  Not a real steady healthy stream though, we are talking about the New York Mets.  It's more like one of those leaks that you hear in a public bathroom next to someone who is old enough to have seen Woodrow Wilson declare war, whose stream is so inconsistent and intermittent that it just makes you sad for your own prostate.  Yeah, the Mets awkwardly pissed like that on this draft.

Who the hell is Brandon Nimmo?


They draft some 18 year old kid from Wyoming (more on that in a moment) who never played high school ball.  Why didn't he play high school ball you ask?  Because they didn't have a f*cking baseball team.  Yes, Cool Runnings was a lovely movie, one of my wife's favorites.  Doesn't change the fact that they got their ass handed to them in the Olympics.  Jesus Christ I'd rather have John Candy himself drafted by the Mets.  He can do his best Mo Vaughan impersonation and sit on 1st base.

So on metsblog this is the brilliant video they show to get us excited about him:

Really?  Seriously?  Where are the f*cking balls going?  And is this supposed to impress me?  Jesus Christ the 3rd one was clearly a pop out and the 4th one probably a grounder to third.  Is there only one video camera in all of Wyoming for this kid to use?  Don't get me wrong, I'm excited enough that there is available electricity to operate the camera, but come on man.

You want to impress me?  Show me this kid stretching.  Show me a healthy MRI, X-Ray, CT Scan.  Show me that this kid isn't hurt already.  Give me some hope that he'll actually survive long enough to play baseball at the major league level.  Can he touch his toes?  Does he have a solid oblique?  Get some doctor to tell me he has a clean bill of health and I'll be pumped and ready for this kid.  For all I know he's already hurt.  Please oh please oh please just don't let him and Fernando Martinez within 50 feet of each other.

I don't know why I'm surprised.  This is the same team that has drafted such gems in the first round as Aaron Heilman, Jeromy Burnitz (who apparently can't spell Jeremy), Lastings Milledge, and Phil Humber (who at least got us Johan Santana via trade).  I guess I just have a lot of hope for Matt Harvey who's doing well in A-ball, and was expecting to be excited with this year's pick.  Shame on me for thinking that would be the case.

And why are they drafting a kid from Wyoming to play in New York City?  I'm still not convinced that Wyoming is even a state.  I've never actually met anyone from Wyoming.  Anyone that does come from there can't possibly be mentally prepared to play in New York.  It's like hiring an amish dude to run a best buy.  He's going to wonder how the devil worked his way into the store and activated all the machines.

Seriously, some people aren't built for NYC.  Your Zack Greinkes and Jeff Francoeurs for example.  I just hope he's a tough, smart, and capable kid.  But knowing the way things have gone in the past, yeah, probably not.

Welp.  Let's hope I'm wrong.

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious...good luck with this blog...I can totally really late about being in Philly Phan territory! I live it every day...Look forward to your posts!

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