Commercials During Mets Games

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It's a long, 162 game season.  When you're a Mets fan, the season can seem longer than it should.  Is it so much to ask that the commericals we listen to not be so unbelievably ridiculous?  Let me rant about some of the highlights here.

#5) 1-877 Kars 4 Kids

 How is it they found a pedophile to sing a song about donating towards a children's charity?  It's not a clever song, it's just creepy.  Is it catchy?  Yes, it's catchy.  The banjos in Deliverance  were also very catchy.  It was memorable when Kathy Bates broke James Caan's foot in Misery.  Memorable does not equal good, it just means that you remember it.

#4) Creepy Kid In The New York Smokers Quitline Commerical:




Yeah it makes me scared, scared that you're going to murder my entire fucking family!  Jesus Christ I thought at the end of The Ring  your reign of terror was over!  Honestly, you make Chucky look like a cabbage patch doll.  I feel like I need to go smoke a pack just to work off the stress of wondering if you're going to burn down my house while singing "London Bridge is Falling Down", but I'm afraid if I go smoke you're going to turn into a Wyvern and engulf everyone I've ever loved into flames.

Conclusion:  So.  Fucking.  Creepy.

#3) The Second Worst Jingle Ever Written:

I HATE this fucking jingle.  It sounds like some reject 80s rocker who was kicked out of Winger in 1981 is looking for a comeback. You're singing about a car dealership, not about love loss, recovery from addiction, or someone that has passed away.  There's no reason that follows any form of logic that legitimizes the singing style of this jingle.  Close your eyes and tell me you don't think he's spluging into the gas tank of a Ford Focus while he's singing this.  And yes, I just had to spell check the gerund of "spluge."

#2) The Worst Jingle Ever Written:

Predictably, I HATE this fucking jingle.  It's not even effective.  It took me several listenings just to realize that it was for the lottery.  It's just ridiculously irritating to listen to.  I'd rather listen to Helen Keller try to pass a sobriety test as she says the alphabet backwards while trying to walk in a straight line.

It's the lottery for fucks sake!  Just put on a shitty keyboard track a la Wesley Willis and say something like "You'll be rich if you win."  Don't put some dipshit in flippers on the subway.

Don't know who Wesley Willis is?  Observe:

May he rest in peace.

 #1) "Hey, I'm Giuseppe Franco!"

Honestly, was there any suspense as to what would be #1 here?

Hey, I don't own the product.  I don't know anything about it.  All I know is that I've been paid to say this is the greatest product ever!

And honestly, which is worse?

• The fact that he says "I'm Giuseppe Franco.  I'm not going to loan my name out there for just any product."  Are you kidding?  No one knows who the hell you are!  It's like me going "Hey, I run Mets Rant.  I have a whopping 45 followers on twitter right now (and thank you for those of you that did!).  I'm not going to loan my reputation out there for just any product.

or...

• The fact that they use Gary Busey as proof that he has celebrity clients.  GARY BUSEY!  Forget that he's crazy.  Okay I know that's next to impossible, but try.  Just look at his hair!  Who gives a shit who does Gary Busey's hair?  It looks like he went to supercuts like the rest of us.

*sigh*.  Well folks, as we suffer through these commercials let's just quietly enjoy the days of having Beltran in the line-up and enjoy the fact that Wright is coming back on Friday.

Let's Go Mets!